I got engaged on 9.19.09.. that is a lot of nines for a girl who wants her wedding to be a perfect 10. I am not even getting married until NEXT YEAR! And there has been lots of drama. Overweight bridesmaids, to pain in the ass maid of honor who wants condoms on my veil and freakin' penis cakes at my bachlorette party. I am mean I am NO bridezilla mind you but a girl needs a classy party to celebrate the biggest commitment she is ever gonna make, next to buying a pair of Manolo's that I will have by the day of my wedding.
I got one big person standing in my way of my dream wedding.. her name is Mom.
Yep. She is a crazy, over bearing and demanding mother. She strikes fear in my heart, more than anything she is the reason I dread planning a wedding. I am an only child, therefore my mom lives vicariously through me for everything.
Am I in for a bumpy year of wedding planning. Here are my mom's two preposterous request
Request No. 1: So in the last three weeks of trying to plan this wedding my mom has tried to decide on who's going to walk me down the aisle. She wanted my uncle to walk me down the aisle for the only reason that his only daughter got knocked up and married "por civil" which in espanol means at city hall, and he never got a chance to walk her down the aisle. My mom then tells me that she thinks its a great idea for my uncle, who is a douche bag.. more on that later, to give me away.. mind you he lives like in another country and he's not really my fave. Denied.
Request No. 2 by dear old mom - wants me to hire a friend of the fam as my DJ. Sounds like a good idea.. right? In theory! But he's an old man with no previous DJing experience at weddings, maybe a backyard BBQ type of experience in the hood that is LA. He won't man his DJ booth station, he will prob just get on the dance floor and leave a CD playing. There won't be any "Do Not Play List" like most wedding DJ's have and there prob won't be a good variety.. Salsa music and more salsa music. I am good thanks.
Request No. 3: My fiancées fam is small, my fam is small. Guest list should not be an issue. Oh it is. With family friends taking most of the long fought battles. This is just the beginning... and its gonna be painful. Are you ready? Hope your seatbelt is fastened, it's gonna be a bumpy road!
